A Sword and a Shopping Cart

So, my friend Eve was playing. She was pushing her little shopping cart, w/ a baby in the front seat thingy, and she was brandishing her sword like a pillaging viking. Not only was she cute as a damn button, but it made me think. Isn't that just like every day? Take care of our day-to-day business, while taking a sword to all that is ungodly? Isn't it just like a child to show us the way.

I was catching up on my favorite show tonight, just relaxing and enjoying the evening. Until this one part of the dialogue hit me like a ton of bricks. I hit rewind and pause a lot to get you this.

“She told you about Rose?”

“Yeah, I know it’s hard, and I’m so sorry for you loss, but you should go home. I’m sure there is someone who can pick you up.”

“I thought I would be with her forever. Everything we did, we did together. We arrived at this hospital together. If I passed through those doors over there, it would be the first time I would see the world without Rose at my side. That isn’t a world I want to be a part of. A world where it’s me, w/out Rose."

Do you have any idea what this said to me? How this (fictitious though he may be) man was married for 56 years, and then had to face the world alone again. I have a hard time having done it for almost 3 months. I am continually told to move on, to go forward, to pray and wait it out. I am told time and time again, he's just not that into you. Oh the things we know that so violently contradict with the way we feel. We are truly never as strong as we think we are.

I should end this blog. It was one week ago today that the Westfield Police and I became best friends. Almost to the minute. I should end this blog. I should end it before my heart becomes anymore permanently attached to my sleeve. I should end a lot of things.