I thought it was over

Having a bad night, so I thought I would blog. This is going to be very cryptic and vague for most of you, so really, just move on I guess.

I hate how when you think you've moved on from something horrible that happened, it's really just an illusion. I rarely feel anything. It's like nothing happened at all. But on nights like this, I'm just scared. Five days this time. Five days. Will a month go by when I won't wonder - even if it's totally illogical? I won't do anything until tomorrow. I told myself that. I tell myself a lot of things.

Such a helpless feeling.