Are you kidding?

I had this horrible thought this morning as I was prepping for my day. It was very tricky, starting off completely normal (except that I actually got up on time), then coming into work. I had a wonderful morning with Ally, then off to make my list for today's events. Except that I caught this realization that is somewhat horrifying. Tell me what this sounds like to you. I get the kids ready and off to school, straighten up the house grateful for the solitude, make myself a cozy breakfast while I go over the errands for the morning before I have to pick Ally up from Kindegarten. Going to the grocery, fixing meals, making doctor and dentist appointments...not to mention the fact that I have a ministry that I absolutely love! Is anyone else seeing a pattern here besides myself? Am I actually living my dream without the sex?!? Are you kidding? {btw...I assoicate sex with the whole living with your best friend, laughing at life, always have a date for the movies kind of thing.} I am quite certain that I'm happy...just missing something I can't quite put my finger on. Hmmmmm.

Also, in response to a conversation I had last night (which I'm not entirely sure why I keep names out of things seeing as how they're probably the only two other people who read this), but I really have something to say about it. In the ever increasing 'era of distraction' - I would ask these questions mi amigo...are my own spiritual disciplines being accomplished every day, and are they what is propelling me towards variety in friendships? Since God is so not a mystery when it comes to your life, what does he say about your conundrum? And finally, what exactly are you afraid of? Hesitation and being cautious in regards to who you invest in is wisdom, fear and intimidation are simply not of God. You've just got to discern if God needs you to invest in other places right now, or if you're free to spread it around a bit. I think your tendency toward distraction is a tenacious thing...and also a fragile one. Be smart, be mindful, and allow the Holy Spirit to prompt you in all things. It's all good my brotha!

Well, I am off to live my life without the sex. *shaking my head* And I think to myself, what a crazy, backwards, insane world...

Good conversations with Good friends...oh yeah, and a good salad too

Sometimes when looking back at things you wonder how on earth THAT happened? Well, that has been happening to me rather often in the past three weeks or so. If I wanted to be truly honest however, I would have to say such 'a ha!' moments have been occuring since camp. They're just more recognizable now that my walls of monstrosity are slowly coming down. I have had significant conversations with two of my SUPASUCKA good friends (and I say good with multiple connotations), that have been pretty crazy - both in content and impact. And I say that in total regards to myself. Have you ever had a dialogue with someone (or someones as the case may be) that resulted in an entire shift of paradigm? That altered things just enough in your cozy little world so as to cause a ripple affect with no known ending? Yeah, I have.

I also wanted to comment on my salad from lunch. It was pretty stinkin fantastic. And I don't mean fantastic as in 'oh, wow, yum', I mean FANTASTIC as in I've got to have MORE. Salads can be such a party for your mouth. A garden party no less.

And ONE MORE THING before I go off to earn the proverbial bacon...I had a HUGE self-realization this weekend. I am so stinkin glad Tony listened to God and let me go. Now, don't get me wrong - being dumped sucks eggs, but when it has the cushion of the Almighty to land on - being dumped actually feels more like being set down. All I know, is that if I had ended up in some one-horse town, on a farm no less, with only my family to keep me company...oh yeah, and also because the urban life was too overwelming...I think I would have suffocated within the hour. Man, it so changes everything when God really is what it's all about. Screw the hokey pokey.

I'm going straight office space

I officially hate computers. Do you have any idea what it is like to spend an entire evening trying to do a project, then find out you don't have freakin administrative priviledges?!? Well, let me tell you, it freakin sucks. Much like having a blog that no one will read but me. What can one really do? *sigh*

I really wish I had something wonderful and profound to say in light of spending multiple hours in front of this machine, but perhaps tomorrow will bring new energy and new insight into my little world. I will allow sleep to refresh...well, everything.

Goodnight my friends. Goodnight my enemies. And everyone in between...